Best thing ever

V-day

So not really sure what im going to do about V-day. And i want to ask her but she seems second guessing about us  spending v-day together  so maybe it wont happen.
guess i wont know till i try

:/

So i screwed up i think.
Either i feel like i pushed my boundaries with her.

it was a mix of fear and panic i just hope i can fix any and all damage before it gets worse

So that just happend...

Well seems my paranoia was not as far fetched as i thaught...fucking pre-cognition hate being right sometimes about things.

anyway my girl friend has been in a depressive state and she thinks its because she hasny been single in so long so she cant have fun and go do things ect ect Basicly got the " maybe we should spend time away from eachother"  sorta talk..

she said it would be tempoary and i trust her

but i hope she know this is putting me into a reacuring nightmare i have had in the past with my other Gfs and im putting my heart and love on the line and in her hands with the promise she made me.  i trust her but doubt and fear always seep into the tiny cracks so this is going to be a hard time for me.

Alone with my thoughts never a good idea

So My paranoia was in an all time high last night. Thankfully im alright now but still it tends to annoy me how much my mind goes of to the worst things i rather not think about at times. Part of the reason i made this blog was to keep my brain occupied and so far its been a good plan.

now with that aside Vampires. {no the Twitard vampires} The Real vampires you know, Bela Ligosi , Alucard, ,  Blade, among other badasses.
but even as badass as they are they are fantasy right? wrong?

now most people who say they believe in vampire get shut down by closed minded people who immiditly jump to the conclusion  that they are speaking about fantasy and the movies.

well it not the case in fact their are real and documented people who drink blood and even drain energy from people.
The Issue with Society is that everyone is TOO ignorant and choose to deny without  even hearing the person out or doing a little digging. that simply how i feel but i wont say im right and i wont say im wrong.

The Vampire Poet Come midnight there is a fright. The full moon brings the children of the night. Dark creatures coming from hell's bowls. The wolves wake the night with their howls. The poet writes his dark rhyme. His heart black as this nights time. His blood lust overcoming his soul. His eyes becoming as dark as coal. His love for the night gives power. And even the moon in his presence will cower. He summons his ghouls up from the mud. His goblet full of his loves' blood. The dark passion of his Vampress' love. Bring the wolves howls from the night above Alas his love shall not last in his heart. For he has been pierced by a holy dart. As his love sees him fall from the hunters stake. She knows for him it was a fatal mistake. The hunter stares at her his soul filled with fear abound. She looks to him hatefully and send out her hounds. The fight end quickly as he did not last. She looks to her love fallen, and gazes at her past. She drinks of his fallen blood and take the stake of holy water. Her hand burns as she thrusts her heart in his honor. This night two children of the dark fall dead. The vampire poet and his Vampress bye his stead. The dark king forever with his night queen. The wolves his slaves forever walk were he had been.

How long? Why do you always tease me. Why do you always torture me. We always enjoy our times together. but its always him you speak of. You told me how you felt about me. I told you my feelings for you. yet its him you chose. yet its him that hurts you. Yelling,screaming,crying. yet your feeling are what your denying. you were shown that signs. I gave you the warnings. You know what you deserve. But you keep what is givin. You know it isnt him. but its me you push to the side. Im not jealous of him. Im not  inpatient. But how long must i wait. how long must i endure. Sigh...